fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
