we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
