Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize