at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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