Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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