I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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