I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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