I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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