dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
