nut hugger
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
