i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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