Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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