batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
