Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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