you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
the liver wants what the liver wants
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
