I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize