Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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