its not stalking. its research.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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