it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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