woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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