my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
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They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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