You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
