why didn't you poke me back
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
