You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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