sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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