The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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