See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So squirting runs in the family.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
