i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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