im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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