also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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