STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
