If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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