One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize