We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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