Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize