we're blogging at a bar
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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