I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
