a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
