have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
