U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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