Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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