Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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