So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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