Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i came on her dog
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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