Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just come out here and I will go home with you...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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