I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
