Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
