4 words: hood of his car
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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