My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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