So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
