You work out of a Hotel?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
