she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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