dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This show inspires me to have sex in space
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
