Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
