in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
