forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
